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Thursday, April 18, 2013

F for fuck

What the fuck!
Why the fuck do people use fuck frequently,
Is it fucking awesome to use fuck?
Does using fuck ,make you feel fucking sophisticated?
The fucking awful word has now become a fucking mantra.
Does repeating the word give the fucking expereince?
I know fucking feels better than hell.
But what the hell sounds more decent than what the fuck.
Fucking is now become the fucking prefix of all the adjectives,
Please fucking calculate the number of times in a day you use fuck
Which is directly proportional to how fucking damaged you are.
Say all the fuck you want
But don't feel sad when your kid
Asks you to shut your fuck up!!

E for " "

When I'm in a an empty room,all alone,
With no one to listen,with no one to agree.
You happily fill the void.
Parotting back to me.
your my only happiness when I get lost in a cave.
When I climb a summit 
And shout  "oohhh" in excitement
You shout it back multiplying my happiness
Why do you have to do this?
Are you the voice of nature?
Or are you the acknowledgement of ghost?
Or are you the reflection of my innerself
Or just an scientific phenomenon
One might never wonder
But I do .I really do.
 E for ECHO.

Monday, April 15, 2013

D for DNA. "My letter to DNA."

My letter to DNA -

Hey DNA,
I'm fine here.How are you doing inside?
Are your strands intact.?
Its simply amazing how you control me with just four letters.
Its all amazing how you pass chemical and electrical signals.
Because all these forms of communications were only recently invented.
May be you are a freaking genius.
But you are are a mess.
Twisted and coiled many folds.
Where do you even start from
Do you even know your head and tail.
Do you know how hard it was to predict your structure.
All these aspects of yours make you  analogous to god.
Except for the fact that you can be isolated and studied.

You dividing yourself,makes me think you are a homosexual.
But you got the curves and at times you are a drama queen.
Just because some letters are missing you turn a man into woman and a living man dead and so on.
This makes me think that your a women.No wonder all non living wonders are purported to be women.
Whatever you are.just be a little considerate .

Laymen believe you pass on looks,
Scientist believe you pass information to the cells.
Then please teach all the cells the concept called family planning.
I don't want a cancer just because you make them horny.
And whenever you come in contact with a viral DNA or any other life form ready to integrate
For god's sake, use protection.
Last thing I want is a viral infection for your pleasure.

 Scientists isolate you from plants,animals,humans,insects and microbes,
Just to study how you do things and how to make you better.
They cut you,play jigsaw with those pieces ,stick those pieces to other random DNA s
Believe me, it all costs a fortune.
So please log on to science direct and please review all the papers published and please give me the truth about you.
If you can ,send me images and videos of how you do things.
I am sure i'll add you in my noble prize acceptance speech.
After all ,its all  for the good of humanity.

expecting a reply from you,

Thursday, April 11, 2013

C for CAT

CAT-Common admission test.

I am a management aspirant.I am from a state owned university.I always wanted myself to be in one of the ivy league colleges. I couldn't get into the IITs for my engineering.But I decided  to get into the IIMs or equally good institution for my management education.Then I collected all the information about coaching institutes and common admission test and then joined one of the reputed coaching institutes. I attended coaching classes regularly.Made good progress.Scored  94+ percentile in my  mocks.Finally on the day I failed to execute the test well and I got a mere 82 percentile.I took this as a sign to prepare harder and wait for one more year to improve my profile and aptitude.(Hope it pays off well).If one has to bell the cat,one has to take lots of mock tests and never be complacent with ones score.In addition to learning wordlists,one should develop the habit of reading.Reading the newspaper would be mandatory  Quantitative aptitude is no big problem when  practiced systematically.In addition ,keep a check on your graduation percentage as it plays major role in getting into an IIM.

Is joining a coaching institute necessary?
yes,it is necessary as it may expose you to a wide range of tests and tricks.TIME,IMS and CL are doing a good job.

how much time per day should one put?
*It depends on the aptitude level and time range .If one is preparing for a one year period 2 hrs per day+plus newspaper reading and learning 10 words a day would suffice.
*If one is preparing for a six month period 4 hrs a day+plus newspaper reading+plus wordlists would be required.
*concentrating equally on both sections (quant and verbal) is neccessary.

If all  preparations and execution goes well and  profile is attractive,one sure has a better shot at getting into an IIM or equally good colleges.

All the best!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

B for ball

Part of the A-Z topic is kindergarten.!!
Disclaimer:not intended to make any sense or point.

hey ball,
You're so round,
You might be an hollow sphere
but you're the dream of a  hemisphere.
people hit you down.
you rise up.
people bash you against the wall.
you come back to them.
spinners lick you hard.
pacers rub you hard until their groins are hot
still you go bouncing,swinging,turning
until the batsmen tear your stitches apart.
but you still occupy the shelf as a signed memoir.
people pump you,
they puncture you,
they stitch you up without anaesthesia
but you still get happily kicked.
 are you here a metaphor for struggle?
 as this poem  as shaped up by default
it appears so!!
it was not intended though.

ps-sorry for using the word poem!!and comment is under feel free.

wait for c for cat!!

Monday, April 1, 2013

A for apple

An apple a day keeps doctor away.But how can a apple alone keep a doctor away?Are those doctors fools to suggest us medicines instead of prescribing an apple?If apple alone can be a medicine,every one can be a doctor.But ironically the proverb goes like this "an apple  a day keeps doctor away". Of course apple has vitamin c contents,phenolic contents which digests cholesterol ,acts on tooth decays and has substances acting against Alzheimer's disease.Then the proverb should go like this "an apple a day keeps the dentist,neurologist and fat doctor away".But to keep all the doctors  away is too much to ask from an apple.How can a patient with cancer thwart it by eating an apple every day?

OK lets tone down the meaning a little.Lets assume that the apple a day can keep doctor away mean that an apple a day makes the diet balanced.But it also doesn't make sense too.How come single serving of a fruit complete a diet when we need carbohydrates,proteins,fats(which are particularly low in fruits)minerals,all vitamins in the particular amount to have a balanced diet.Even then the proverb should have gone like this an apple plus the complementary foods to balance the diet can keep the doctor away".Again going back to the original and true meaning.A balanced diet is very much required as food is the best medicine if had in the right amounts.But what about the diseases caused by  ,genetic disorders,accidents.How can a apple or even a balanced diet keep the doctor away in those things.Then the proverb should go like this "an apple plus the complementary foods to balance the diet can keep the doctor away except for incidences of genetic disorders,accidents,or hygienic disorders beyond the control of the immune system"

But there is another proverb."live and let live".According to this proverb every one should get their chance to live and prosper.Assuming the apple proverb is true ,where will the doctor go for their living.Over the years doctors have made miracles,found life saving ,life producing protocols.They are next to god.But how do we get the heart to ditch our gods for a serving of fruit.This is totally unacceptable.

what if the proverb maker was gadget freak.what if he had foreseen the invention of Apple products.No it can't be products are in no way going to keep the doctor away.They have many chances of making their users obese and fall sick to many other diseases.So i rule out this possibility.

Economically speaking apple is a costly fruit.There are millions of people who are even below the Rs 32 per day cutoff.How can they afford an apple every day.They cant afford the medical expenses due to the diseases which follow. Shouldn't the apple be replaced with a affordable fruit like   banana or tomato.?What will vendors of other fruits do when all people are after apple?#just asking mother nature.

I am not here to make any point.This was just a comical analysis of a proverb.Last thing I want is an apple vendor abusing me in my blog.But I welcome accolades and praises from doctors for me  taking up their cause.And i also advise all the proverb makers not to exaggerate a proverb  just for sounding precise because there are people who take it as it is!!:)

This is a part of April A-Z challenge.My topic is kindergarten education.wait for B for ball.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Women's day special !!

My vision for women in Chennai!!
Let me start with some fun things :
-A woman who doesn't hit his brother and start crying .
-A woman who accepts defeat in a board game.
-A woman who shops in ten minutes.
-A woman who doesn't flatter her father and winning him from his brother. 
-A woman who does watch films for its artistic value rather than for the khans in it.
-A woman who does not like vampires.
-A woman who buys a diamond ring for her fiance.
Wouldn't all this be a sight!!

The three most influential women in my life:
My mother for sure has been the most influential person from day 1 of my life.She decided my body temperature.She decided my school.She decided my wardrobe.Helped me crack school.Gave me the maturity I need to take my decisions and left me alone(freedom).The judicious decisions she takes during crisis,calmness with which she handles situations,the anger she  shows when people are wrong,the politeness with which she handles people at work and ultimately her art of prioritizing-the way she juggles family and work striking perfect balance are perfect examples of how one should live her life.With all these lessons from her I'm pretty sure I'll be able to survive even the white house pressure like a piece of chocolate.

Long time back,my baby sister and I were in the officially allowed period for innocent physical fights.
Even with my menacingly strong arms and her surprisingly tiny stature she never used to get threatened when I called her for a combat for the ultimate right to the remote.I don't know if its her moral will or my father's support. Its the same till now.Never does she succumb to pressure.

After my grandfather left,in the middle of a family crisis regarding properties, the intelligence,sagaciousness, and diplomacy my grandmother practiced to restore peace in the family could as well be a lesson for an Indian diplomat to Pakistan.

Growing up in the presence of all these women has never given me a chance  to see women even a toad less than men.Never has my mother asked me to give up something for my sister just because she is a girl.My father always called my sister vada poda like a boy. This upbringing of me has always made me raise my hand against those reservation made for women considering they are the weaker sex.In bus  ,when a male gives a seat to a woman out of respect,the man has the upper hand.But when the female refuses it and stands on her allocated side , equality is restored.When women stay smug for 33%,its weakness.but when they go fighting for the 100% on their own,that is equality.I accept .All these reservations are aimed to up-bring the lives of women in the lower echelons of society.I am not saying this should happen now.These are just my vision for the future.Its also time they hit the gym and martial art classes not expecting another man to save her at times of danger during her fun time with night!I envision a society which does not consider women of the age group 18 to 24 as a burden and let them explore the world after their graduation and let them decide when to settle down and just not tie them up with some one just because they have reached twenty five. I envision a society where the costs of marriage is equally split between the families of the stake holders.I envision a society where the embarrassment of teenage girls in the name of puberty functions are illegal.

As far as  academics and art is concerned,I have not seen as many mechanical engineers,marine engineers ,civil engineers, visual-effects creators,directors,cinematographers in women as I have seen IT professionals,doctors,HR personnel, beauticians,nutritionist,writers.Its time for women to cut all those ropes that hampers them pursuing certain fields of art and science.Honestly speaking, I can't think of a field in which women can't improve except for the field where women are used as commodities.

Lets not dominate or try to dominate!!lets co-exist with our equals.!!!!

Happy women's day.

This post is a part of the CBC Women's day special contest ,where the men of chennai bloggers club pay tribute to the women in their life.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Why Dr.Sheldon would prefer Chennai

 Why Sheldon Lee   Cooper   would prefer Chennai!!(Read it in sheldon's voice)

Chennai’s location at 80.27 E and 13.0810 N makes it a thermally favourable place to live. The summer at 35 degree centigrade is not very unbearable and the winter at 20 degree centigrade is a pleasant season for a hot beverage,  and  one doesn't need to search for his jacket before leaving a place as in Pasadena. Its adjacent  location to the sea ensures accessibility to the right levels of the rain bearing winds and the chances of the raining water engulfing the city is pretty low. Even if the drainage fails and the rain water stagnates on the roads, the sun,  which shines at a bearable 32 degree centigrade average, evaporates all the water clearing the roads of water in a jiffy.

The potholes in the roads made by the rainwater in addition to numerous oddly placed speed breakers, transforms the bus travel into  a fun ride at the theme park saving one the cost of a monthly trip to the amusement park. And with all the shakes and jumps one might lose enough calories freeing one from the twenty minutes of cardio. Plus the travelers  in the Bus, engage in casual talk with topics ranging from politics to science which makes the ride worthwhile and also if the bus is crowded enough, you might get a free full body massage.

One of the best things I like about the native culture of Tamil Nadu is that they avoid contaminating each other’s hand through handshakes. Instead,  they follow a hygienic  process of welcoming people by joining their own hands. And when I visit their place, they welcome me with full heart and mouth and they offer me a cup of hot coffee. And fascinatingly, when they visit my place, they bring the fruits and sweets I like, as a gift. They call this practice  ‘Viruthombal’ which is quite fitting for someone of my importance.  Most people even make sure the Americans feel at home by pretending to be Americans and they even manage to pull it off as good as us the westerners! The food here is unbearably spicy and what’s worse  is that they are mouth watering and irresistible. Especially the Masala Dosa made of fermented rice flour with mashed potatoes in the middle which are served along with sambar and the delicious chutney.When one's stomach burns with spice other world cuisines are just minutes away.

The elders of the family here are well  aware of the Placebo effect .They tie a piece of thread around the wrist of the children of the family ,or hang  dollars of God or symbols of god around  the neck, or wear streaks of ashes on the forehead which are believed to instate confidence, power , courage and luck.

The chennaites have strong acoustic capabilities. The sounds they make with their mouth is amusing and at times funny. They insert their thumb and index finger inside their mouth producing a sound similar to a whistle blown by traffic men. I usually hear it whenever I hear the word ‘Rajinikanth’ and ‘Dhoni’.I have seen men and women shouting  with their hands hitting their mouth periodically producing a crazy sound.One day ,an auto driver  called me ‘annaathe’ .they also call you with sweet sounding names such as ‘ayya’ ,’prabhu’ and ‘pichapodu’.The politicians here are very animated and fun loving people adding the name of a ferocious animal or dynamic thing before their names such as ‘Tiger kumar’,’jumbo Ramalingam’ and ‘Rocket Raja’.But nothing can  match the ‘infinite Sheldon’.

Unlike other cultures, life threatening habits such as smoking and pre -marital sex are looked down upon and culturally unacceptable. Though Chennai has diseases like bird flu, chickungunya, considering it is the health capital of India, the probability of a self clean disciplined person passing away due to the above reason is pretty much lesser .Not all people except the world famous cops of this region are provided with gun license and trading of guns is illegal. Hence the chances of getting shot by a random guy in schools, malls, and theatres are very low. Except a few incidents there is no history of massive earthquakes, volcanoes, violent terrorist attacks making it an ideal place to live on.

Chennai, being the land of the second longest beach, oldest language, richest tradition, largest cultural diversity, scientific developments and coolest people, I find no reason to say that Chennai isn't the best place to live.

PS :I didn't mention about the locations and the things that have already been stated in the tablog so that this post doesn't become monotonous.

This post is a part of the blog tag where a group of bloggers of Chennai Bloggers club post their view of  what chennai means to them.The tag was passed to me by Destination Infinity who has actually outsourced the work of replying to the comments of his blog to a MNC based in  Chennai(:p) and I am passing the tag to Prashanth Ashok,an NRI whose heart is still stuck in the roots of his legacy.